Opinions and actions of others seem to make us ‘suffer’ emotionally. “If it wasn’t for him/her”, “He/she makes me feel upset” etc. are common sentences we use to protect ourselves. Very little of what others say or do have anything directly to do with us. We do however, tend to take most of what is said and done personally. It is therefore important to learn to communicate clearly with others to avoid internal and external conflicts.
We can only do our best. ‘Our best’ is ours and that means we should not compare ourselves to others simply because we are not them. Have you ever felt weak and without motivation? Have you heard from people around you that you are lazy and will come to nothing? Or that the way you do things is not the right way? To most of us it feels that we do things the best way. Have you had people telling you how to cook? How to chop onion or stuck up a dishwasher? It is easy to criticise or judge others however our opinions are blurred by our own reality. There is no right or wrong, unless there is an immediate danger to ourselves and/or others, and no one ought to tell us how to be and how to live. They do not live in ‘our skin’ and cannot possibly know what is going on in our ‘internal world’. Part of our work together maybe learning the value of respecting the opinions and actions of others and how to respect and rely on our own values and views. Communication is important part of social life and self-love and self-respect will enable us to effectively express ourselves in our own right.
“Don’t feel stupid if you don’t like what everyone else pretends to love”